Wednesday, March 19, 2014

RAPPER "MA$E" files for divorce after 12 years of marriage!


How’s this for ironic — rapper-turned-pastor Mase — who built a lucrative church and related business partly on his secrets to a successful marriage — secretly filed for divorce from his pastor wife. 

Mase’s divorce filing in Georgia dated January 2nd, cites irreconcilable differences with Twyla Betha. And it sounded nasty, Mase asked for full custody of their two kids and even wanted HER to pay HIM child support.
He claims they separated August 2013 — after 12 years of marriage.

But just over a month later — the day before Valentine’s Day — Mase inexplicably had a change of heart, filing to dismiss his divorce petition.
The fiasco is priceless — if you look at the website for Mase’s El Elyon International Church in Atlanta the entire thing is built around his successful relationship with his wife. The two even hawk their “successful marriage” book series called “What Do You Do After I Do?”
And the book description is perfect: “In this series, Mason and Twyla Betha share keys to build a marriage that will last a lifetime.”

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Stuart Scott’s Story of Perseverance ESPN Anchor’s Private Battle With Cancer Becomes a Public One








WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — Inside the mixed martial arts studio, Stuart Scott lifted the black T-shirt that read, “Everyday I Fight.” Beneath was a footlong scar that bisected the ESPN anchor’s washboard abs.

“It’s a sign of life,” he said, though it is the spot where cancer surgeons have opened his abdomen three times to remove parts of him.

Scott’s fight continues. He has had 58 infusions of chemotherapy. He recently switched to a pill. But the drugs have not fully arrested the cancer that struck first in 2007, when his appendix was removed. It returned four years later. And it came back again last year. Each recurrence seems more dire, and yet after each, Scott has returned to his high-profile work at ESPN, ensuring that his private fight also has become a public one.

Friends, family, colleagues and strangers ask how he is faring. Yet Scott, 48, says he does not want to know his prognosis.

“I never ask what stage I’m in,” he said recently over lunch. “I haven’t wanted to know. It won’t change anything to me. All I know is that it would cause more worry and a higher degree of freakout. Stage 1, 2 or 8, it doesn’t matter. I’m trying to fight it the best I can.”



Scott’s approach once puzzled Sage Steele, a fellow ESPN anchor and one of his closest friends.

“I’ve asked him on two occasions: ‘What does this mean? What do the doctors say?' ” she said. “And I’m nervous asking it, but after hearing his answer for the second time, I choose not to ask again. I don’t know if I could do it the same way.”

Scott’s sister, Susan, says she understands her brother’s psychology.

“I think he can only live with this by not even incorporating the potential end of it,” she said in a telephone interview from North Carolina. “It’s too weighty. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about it, but to let it in starts to validate it and gives it more heft.” But, she added, “Every time I get a call that Stuart’s in the hospital, I have to think about what this means for his mortality, and is this the time?”

Scott’s absences from ESPN are noticeable because he remains one of the network’s most familiar personalities. Hired in 1993, he soon became one of the signature anchors on “SportsCenter” and on the network’s N.F.L. and N.B.A. programming. “SportsCenter” stars like Keith Olbermann, Dan Patrick and Rich Eisen left the network over the years, but Scott has remained. He has always projected a cool vibe, blending hip-hop language and pop culture references with sound effects and catchphrases like “Boo-yah!” and “Cool as the other side of the pillow,” and he has delivered highlights and commentary in youthful outbursts and in the cool, brooding form of a poetry jam.

Recently, during the N.F.L. scouting combine, he used the debate over Johnny Manziel’s quarterbacking future as grist for an antic, one-on-one conversation with himself.

“I don’t need to do that to keep myself engaged,” he said. “I think it’s unique and part of who I am.”

On the air, Scott seems unaffected by three bouts with cancer. His demeanor on “SportsCenter” is unchanged: excitable, energetic, creative, even a bit wild. But his face looks thin, and his colleagues are concerned.

“There are some days when I say, I don’t know how he’s doing it,” said Mark Gross, a senior vice president for production who has known Scott for two decades.

Continue reading the main story
On the night he returned to “Monday Night Countdown” last November in Tampa, Fla., Scott received a text from his sister, who calls him the crown prince of their parents’ four children. It included a quotation from Arthur Ashe: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

“I wasn’t trying to bring him to tears, but I felt, as a family member processing this, each time is scary,” she said. “The last time was really scary.”

A return to a regular routine, like Scott’s traveling to a “Monday Night” location or grappling in an M.M.A. gym, is a significant marker in a cancer survivor’s life. So are the nights he co-anchors “SportsCenter.” But the effort can sap his strength. Soon after returning from his last surgery, Scott frequently needed to lean back in his chair and relax during commercial breaks, often not hearing much of what his producer said.

Steele said that for years Scott had masked his pain when the cameras came on.

“I’ve visited while he’s been getting chemo; it shook me up,” she said. “But then I’d put the TV on at 11 that night, and he’s still Stuart Scott.”

Restoring Energy

Thin but muscular, Scott uses mixed martial arts and high-intensity cross-training workouts to restore the energy that chemotherapy saps from him.

Dressed all in black for a recent workout, he popped in a mouthpiece inscribed with the initials of his daughters, Sydni, 14, and Taelor, 19, and then walked onto the blue and gray padded floor to face Darin Reisler, the sculptured owner of the gym. For 90 minutes, they battled and sparred.

Despite his weakened condition, Scott is skillful, quick and graceful. His breathing grew labored as the workout progressed, but he was happy to be back. He needs the physical contact, he said, the jolt of competitiveness.

“Jab! Cross! Hook! Jab!” Reisler shouted. Scott’s punches shot out in quick combinations that smacked off Reisler’s hand pads, echoing in the nearly empty gym.

The kicks came next — three in rapid succession. Then Scott leapt and delivered a flying kick at Reisler. “You kick like an ox,” he told Scott.

Scott and Reisler moved on to chokeholds and arm bars — sometimes both stopped to explain their submissions as if teaching a class — and wrapped up by fighting in a steel cage.

“God, that felt good,” Scott said as he pulled off his custom-made blue helmet and left the cage.

Still, there are indignities and frustrations. After his third surgery last September, his wound did not close for more than two months. During the last few weeks he was attached to a wound VAC, which drained the surgical site. It is “a pretty interesting contraption if it’s not attached to you,” he said.

He was forced to wait five months, until late February, so his abdominal area would not be vulnerable to the kicks, punches and grappling of the Muay Thai and Brazilian jiujitsu he practices. So far, Scott said, his cancer has not spread beyond where it was found. But he would not give a doctor permission to speak about his condition or provide further details. “My colon has been resected,” he said. “But it’s not colon cancer. No doctor has ever said that it has spread to my kidneys or lungs.”

Paul Mansfield, an appendiceal cancer specialist at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, said the disease has various forms that range from benign to very aggressive.

Although he could not comment directly on Scott’s case, he said that the oral drug that Scott recently switched to, regorafenib, “is fairly toxic.”

Mansfield said: “It doesn’t really create a response in patients but may stabilize things. It’s pretty far down the list of what we’d use.”

Scott said that he had continued to be flexible about the course of his chemotherapy, even considering experimental treatments.

“We’ve talked about doing a clinical study,” he said, “which I might do at some point. We’re going to see what happens with this new drug. And I guess I could go back to my old regimen. There is some evidence that it did some help, but chemotherapy is not an exact medical science. I heard an oncologist say that in the world of oncology, two and two doesn’t equal four, it equals five or six or three.”

Daughters’ Questions

Scott speaks frequently about his daughters, with pride and melancholy. He is divorced from their mother and they share custody. Taelor, the 19-year-old, is in college.

When he first learned he had cancer, the girls asked him a lot of questions. Taelor once asked if the cancer would kill him, he recalled. “I said: ‘It could, and that’s why we’re doing everything we can. That’s why I’m taking every medicine I can and that’s why I keep working out so we can keep traveling the way we do and so I can act silly and goofy and keep embarrassing you.' ”

Now the girls ask fewer questions. He figures that they are typical teenagers who prefer not to discuss what scares them.

“I know they worry about it,” he said, “probably more than I want them to.”

As he drove from his recent workout to lunch, he turned on a video of Sydni, the soloist in her school choir, singing the pop song “Skyscraper.”

“I watch this once or twice a day,” he said, as Sydni’s strong, mature voice filled the car’s interior. “She doesn’t like me to play it for people, but I said, ‘Dude, I got bragging rights.' ”

He listened, almost in silence, until she sang the last words.

“The end,” he said, “gives me chills.”




Tuesday, March 4, 2014

What People Do When They Don’t Really Love You



THE SAD TRUTH ABOUT LOVE! 

I try to lace my work with optimism because a guiding principle in my own life has been that the most tragic things in our lives almost always precede the most incredible. I think that, at any given point, we are faced with the choice of whether to move on with what the universe gives and takes or to hold on and bury ourselves in our own misery. I do not perch on a high horse preaching this, because I have been in those depths, and I know what it’s like. I also know that there are few issues that will destroy you faster than matters of the heart. But what I must tell you is that while teaching myself to climb out of that sadness and attachment-laden-misery, I realized something that is a bit more realistic than optimistic, but so invariably true that it’s worth giving attention to.
When someone loves you, you will know it. If someone cares about you, they will find a way to be with you. If they do not, they’ll make excuses. Sometimes they won’t even be sure whether or not they love you, so you’ll see them going back and forth trying to figure it out. Love is not something that requires brain work. It is not a riddle to be solved or a mystery to be uncovered. It just simply is, and we just have to let it be, or not be, naturally.
I generally believe that people differ so much in their experiences and that no two situations are exactly the same, so it’s difficult to generalize something about love and romance, but I make an exception for this. I know many of you are probably reading this conjuring up all the reasons why so-and-so did in fact love you but they just couldn’t be with you for this reason or that reason and why that was so valid and why I have no idea what I’m talking about. That’s okay if you want to think that, I won’t stop you. But the truth is that what you’re holding onto is someone who doesn’t love you enough to put you first and make it work. And if I believe in anything, I believe that we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us as well.
So what we have to learn to do is to accept the love we aren’t given. To realize that although we put someone on a pedestal, that does not mean that their judgment determines us. It’s simply a mindset, one that we have to change if we want to get out. People can love you a little bit, and they can love you enough but not enough to make it work. It is not an all-or-nothing situation. We have to stop thinking that it is, and that when the cards don’t fall in our favor, that it defines some part of us as being unworthy and unlovable. Because to combat that idea, we hold on as fiercely as we can to the reasons we are loved, until letting go is our idea– not theirs.
But we all end up, one way or another, okay. We’re all on different rides, but they all end the same way. You do not need somebody else’s love to be whole. You do not need their permission to go on with your life. What you do need is your own love. You need to let yourself go on. Their love isn’t stopping you, because that love doesn’t exist. It is only you who is holding onto what you believe should be. And what you will realize, sooner or later, is that most of your life is defined and chosen by what you compel yourself to believe should or shouldn’t be. Release yourself from the cage you built. You hold the key to your own freedom. TC mark